18.4.05
ok, at long last. this page took a damn long time to load. im at the nj library, and that explains why the system lags by sucha great deal. expected right.
anyway, ive just read it. and i felt this huge tear inside me while i was plouging through that long account. i really dont know what to perceive of it, and it's really shocking to know that things can just suddenly change so drastically overnight. there wasnt any sign of a rift or disagreement, at least in my opinion, and wham! it struck all of us down with a blow. am i supposed to feel sympathy? injustice? insulted? i have no idea. you told me before that i was yr best friend ard in sch. im beginning to wonder how everything you wrote just simply contradicts what u said in the past. u noe yr not the only person who has been through struggles, in fact, all of us have our own personal sets of experiences. but we all have to face it and recover on our own. i think you've really made the wrong decision by just forcing this wedge in between all of us just because you've been unhappy. we know that you've lost the trust and intimacy you once shared with them, we know, we know how it hurts you, we've seen how you've changed. do you even want to lose us? i think it's something you really need to ask yourself....we're not going to let you go because we're not intending to lose you as a friend. but seriously, it takes two hands to clap. throughout this whole episode, you're not alone in being upset. and, we've never ever taken you for granted. i dunno what made you think that way, but we've never ever taken you for granted. perhaps there are too many intricacies in certain things that we've failed to acknowledge, but honestly, we look upon you as the big brother we love most. im so sorry for all the expectations that ive placed on you...i promise not to have any anymore. as long as yr happy. i really dont wanna see you hurt anymore...it pains me a great deal.
i wish you wouldnt treat me like a stranger, creating small talk and not even daring to look me in the eye sometimes...it hurts.
den* stepped on your garbage at